Who knew cardboard had thermal control strong enough to withstand transit through the Earth's stratosphere and is able to survive the merciless vacuum of space? Well, they went above and beyond the call of duty here, because in one commercial, the box is a goddamn spaceship. That sounds like the simplest damn thing in the world, right? All they have to do is anthropomorphize some snack crackers, make them frolic and happily go about their bite-sized lives while looking suitably edible, and somehow work in the box so that children will have something to recognize and grab off the shelves for their parents to buy. The commercials have a simple, tried-and-true concept that's existed in TV commercials since the advent of the medium. And, like Oreos, my favorite part of eating a Ritz Bits Sandwich was pulling it apart and eating the filling first. They're basically the salty, cracker version of Oreos. I blame the Ninja Turtles.īut anyways, these snacks rule (save for the pizza flavor) and I wish I had a handful of them right now. come to think of it, a lot of snacks were pizza-flavored in the 90's. I remember these things tasting a little like stomach acid and crushed dreams. Some preferred the ones with cheese filling, some preferred the peanut butter ones, and there was a more daring and odd variety of kid that honest to god liked the limited edition pizza Ritz Bits. I couldn't find a single colleague amongst my Pokemon card trading group that hated these things. These things were the staple of any schoolchild's lunch when I was growing up. Probably the most beloved of the corporate snack crackers (their only competition being Kellogg's Cheez-Its, and those things are freaking nasty and taste like gross), Ritz Crackers and their smaller variety stuffed with fillings known as Ritz Bits Sandwiches are like little bite-sized morsels of deliciousness. So with that being said, let corporate hypnotism wash over your brain and compel you to spend your money on their food, because this is. Healthy food commercials usually carry with them an odd air of pretentiousness, like they know they're good for you and they're going to make fun of those lousy philistines for daring to have more calories than them, and because of that, they tend to be more annoying than snack commercials. It's obvious that the best commercials were attached to the most sugary and salty of delights. Only one of these foods has sort of nutritional value to be had from them (maybe two, if you're really stretching it), but come on. The snacks had to be, in some way, bad for you. The Trix rabbit will have his day in the spotlight, mark my words.ģ. Cereal commercials are in a special, crazy league of their own and will be covered at another time. This site is called Nothing But Cartoons and by god I'm going to stick to that name!Ģ. If they're terrible or grotesque, well, then they tend to be the commercials that air with a really bizarre amount of frequency and make you want to stab the people responsible.īut I'm going to be nice today and point out some snack commercials that really did do their job.ġ. If they do their job well, they can be really memorable and they might even make you more compelled to buy the product. However, commercials are like a double-edged sword. Like the blissfully stupid cartoons that clearly depict characters that have their own action figures, they create a world of their own a place that resembles my own dimension but is still somewhat alien to me on account there's one particular product that is made out to be the best damn thing you've ever seen, and if you don't buy it, you're either a loser or unhip or some other related adjective. Those little snippets of time between my cartoons that are designed to sell something to me. School happened.Īs you can tell from my bizarre devotion for such animated classics as "Creepy Crawlers: The Animated Series", I have the oddest love for commercials. First, I just want to say I sorry I didn't update in over a week.
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